Fic: Life or Something Like It

Yeah, so I decided to put my present Logan/Veronica idea into a seperate fic since I liked the way this turned out being strictly past-tense. Also, Veronica Mars Fic the community is now open for business. Hope to see you there!

Title: Life or Something Like It
Rating: PG13
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Character: Logan POV, Logan/Veronica-ish
Summary: Logan, Veronica, and the art of living.
Disclaimer: I only wish I owned them.
Notes: Spoilers for The Wrath of Con.



Logan thinks it's become kind of like asking where a person was when Kennedy was shot; everybody in southern California could tell you exactly what they were doing when they first heard about Lilly Kane's murder.

He thinks Lilly would've gotten a kick out of being Neptune's JFK.

He remembers he was watching The Big Lebowski on the widescreen hi-def TV in the "family" room, which was really more the entertainment room than anything else since it was hard to get his family in the same city on any given day, much less the same room. So one minute he's laughing for the millionth time at the ferret in the bathtub and the next he's on the phone trying to get Veronica to stop crying and saying, "Oh my god, Logan," long enough to tell him what was wrong.

And his whole world changed in a fucking instant.

He hasn't watched the stupid ferret gag since.

~

Logan didn't sit with the Kanes at Lilly's funeral. Duncan was still practically catatonic and hadn't acknowledged anyone's presence since Lilly died, and frankly, Logan thought Lilly would've kicked his ass if he pandered to Celeste's image of the grief-stricken mother.

So instead he waited at the back until Veronica came in with her parents -- his were off God-knows-where on set and sent a flower arrangement Lilly would've hated as a consolation prize -- and as soon as Veronica spotted him, she ditched her parents and made her way over to him.

She stopped just in front of him, hesitating slightly at his stoic facade and said softly, "I can go if you wanna be alone."

Logan looked around at all the stupid white flower arrangements that were probably supposed to symbolize innocence (what a fucking joke because Lilly was anything but innocent) and the soft classical music playing in the background, and everyone was being so god damn serious he wanted to scream.

"She would've hated this," he told Veronica.

Veronica nodded. "She would've wanted a party with tequila and male strippers."

Logan snorted, imagining Celeste's reaction if a band of strippers stormed the funeral playing Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Corey Hart since Lilly loved eighties music. God, Lilly would've LOVED that. "What do you say we go find some ways to honor her the way she would've wanted?"

Veronica gave a fleeting glance to where Duncan was staring blankly at the casket and Celeste was crying most-likely fake tears and everyone looked somber and polite and boring and the opposite of Lilly. "Let's go."

~

"I don't think Lilly would mind dying," Veronica said philosophically after she downed the fourth shot Logan put in front of her as they sprawled across Lilly's favorite spot at the end of Ocean Beach with flowers and stuffed animals and a drinking game that Lilly used to goad them into playing. Veronica had provided the flowers and stuffed animals, and he had brought the tequila, which Veronica didn't mind tasting so much after her second and third shots.

"What?" Logan looked over at her in surprise.

"You know," she threw her arm across the sandy space between them and shook the shot glass at him until he refilled it for her. "Lilly LIVED."

"Yeah," Logan rolled his eyes and looked back up at the stars. "And I live, and you live, too."

"No, no, no!" Veronica paused to down the fifth shot, and Logan had to admit that for a girl who didn't drink very often, Veronica could hold her liquor pretty well. "Lilly was ALIVE, you know? She did everything like it was her last chance, lived every minute like she wouldn't get a next one. She did whatever she wanted and anyone who didn't like it could go to hell."

"Yeah, she did," Logan agreed quietly. Lilly's love of life was what had drawn him to her in the first place. She was always going, always doing something or planning something, and if you couldn't keep up with her, you were going to get left behind because she didn't wait around for anybody. "We should live. She'd like that."

"We should," she agreed. The lapsed into silence for a few moments before she looked over at him, her voice wavering slightly. "Do you know how to live?"

~

Three days after Lilly's funeral, Logan pulled Veronica aside during her third period history class and told her, "Meet me in the parking lot after this period. We're ditching the rest of the day."

"What?" Veronica shook her head in surprise, looking back toward the classroom where a few people were watching them curiously. "I have a math test fifth period, I can't ditch."

"Do you wanna take a math test or do you wanna live?"

Veronica bit her lip, looking back and forth between the classroom and him for a minute, and just as Logan was starting to doubt she really meant what she said when she was drunk, she whispered, "Do I need to bring anything?"

Logan let himself grin for the first time in days because Lilly would've loved him getting Veronica to agree to ditch class. "Just yourself. Unless you wanna break out your soccer uniform..."

Veronica laughed, and he'd bet it was the first time in days for her too, and slugged him on the arm. "Perv."

~

Veronica turned to Logan as they pulled out of the school parking lot in his two week old bright yellow SUV and headed toward I-5, shaking her head worriedly. "My dad's going to kill me for living."

"He'll have to catch you first."

Whipping around to look at him, she asked, "We're not living out of the country, are we? 'Cause my dad does have the power to put out APBs on us."

"Depends," he glanced at her slyly. "We could go see strippers in Tijuana."

"Hey, if you want to watch men taking it off for money, I'm all for it," Veronica fired back with a grin, folding her arms over her chest and tapping her fingers against her lips. "Lilly'd love to see you stuffing a dollar bill in a guy's--"

Logan was sure he looked at least as horrified as he felt. "I meant girl strippers!"

"We're living in honor of Lilly, remember?" she teased him. "Boy strippers."

"Lilly kissed you," he reminded her. "She could go for girls."

Veronica shook her head with a light laugh that reminded him of how her and Lilly used to gossip at lunch while he and Duncan just sat there, content to be in their presence. "Yeah, you'd like to think that."

"Of course I would. I'm a guy."

"You're a perv."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

They lapsed into silence for a moment, the radio playing some song too softly for him to tell what it was before she turned to him again. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope," Logan shook his head, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "You'll back out if I do."

"Oh, PLEASE tell me you're kidding."

"Relax, Ronnie," he grinned and changed the stereo to the CD player and Metallica's Black album, which Lilly used to drive her mother crazy with whenever she was stuck at home for too long. "You wanted to live, and I'm going to make sure you do."

"Why is that the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life?"

~

The following Friday, Logan was waiting at her locker when she walked out of sixth period British Lit since he hadn't been able to catch her the rest of the week between classes. She looked up at him as she approached, and he greeted her with, "Wanna go live?"

Veronica spun open the lock on her locker and tossed her books in before turning to look at him. "I'm still grounded from the last time we lived, thanks. I don't think my dad's planning to let me out of his sight again, ever."

Huh. His dad had yet to hear about it, but he doubted his parents would care if they did know. "Hey, it's not like we went to Tijuana."

"And that's a good thing, 'cause if we had I'd be locked in my room for the rest of my natural life," she rolled her eyes. "As it is, I'm only allowed out for school and study groups. And to walk Backup, but I'm only allowed fifteen minutes to do that."

Logan mock-grimaced and leaned against the locker next to hers as she pulled out the books she'd need for homework. "Maybe you shouldn't have called them from L.A."

"Yeah, because me not calling at all when I knew I wasn't coming home would have made it better," she said sarcastically. "Seriously now, did you plan on us spending the night in L.A., 'cause it would have been nice if you had warned me."

"If I had warned you, you wouldn't have come," he told her, and she knew it was true so she didn't argue it. She still looked kind of irritated with him, though, so he added, "And you can't say it wasn't worth it. I was there. You had fun. You lived."

Veronica turned slightly and met his gaze, smiling slowly as she nodded. "Yeah, it was worth it. Lilly would love that we lived for a night."

He smiled back, and then decided to lighten it up before they started focusing too much on Lilly not being there again and everything got depressing. "I won't even tell anyone how much you suck at karaoke."

"You dared me! I totally would not have done that if you hadn't made me!" She gasped, hitting him in the arm again. The she wrinkled her nose in a frown and asked, "You're not going to tell anyone I sang 'Like A Virgin', are you?"

"Well, I guess I can't if I want it kept a secret that you made me sing too," he leaned in to say it quietly, because that was really the last thing he needed anyone else to ever find out about, even if he only did it because Veronica goaded him into it. "How long are you grounded for?"

"Until my dad says otherwise," she closed her locker and leaned against it, mirroring his pose, and he wondered if she realized she used to do the same thing when she talked to Lilly or Duncan. "Which means he was way too pissed to admit that he might ever let me out alone again."

"Sorry," he winced, realizing that she really was being serious about not being allowed to do anything. Who knew that parents could actually give a crap where their kids spent the night?

"Nah," Veronica shook her head and grinned at him. "Hearing you sing 'It's Raining Men' was so worth it."

He looked around sharply to make sure nobody else heard. "Shut up. You swore you'd never say anything about that again."

She just laughed, hugging her math book to her chest. "Okay, okay. Next time we live, no singing about sex of any kind."

"Next time we live, no singing at all."

Without Lilly or Duncan around them, there was no reason for her to care whether or not they remained friendly. Logan cared. More than he should. Duncan was too deep in his own grief to see anything else, but Veronica was still there and he could see Lilly in her more than he could in Duncan.

Every time Veronica rolled her eyes at him, he saw Lilly in her. Every time she was sarcastic or she teased him or she got excited about something, he could see Lilly's influence on her. She was all of Lilly he had left aside from some pictures, and pictures couldn't capture Lilly the way she really was.

Veronica was a little bit Lilly.

And he was going to hang on to that.

She'd said there would be a next time, and that was all that mattered.